no sugar please

“tell me about her. I’ll prolly seal that memory away but you gotta let it out” the psychiatrist said and he began. It was about some four years ago. I was in grade twelve and was learning sketch as well as a musical instrument called dhime. Being introverted as I am I had a small circle and hated small chats with anyone. The circle I was in was just perfect for me; a cute normal girl, a senior to look up to, an older friend to be guided by and a super optimistic girl to counter my pessimistic thoughts. Outside my small circle I only talked bare minimum but once I got drunk and accidently called two sisters puta(grandson/daughter). From that day onwards they started to call me granny. It was a comic relief for me because I somewhat found it funny. I was hopelessly crushed on selena; the optimistic girl. But as I always have been on the other side of the luck when it comes to love she had a boyfriend. I had to get out of that situation so I made selena my bestie and looked for other al...

It was a starry night and there was a group of four. They were talking some stiffs and were walking in the group of two. He and her were talking some really deep shit. Sam was arguing with Preston that she was the light and he was the darkness incarnate. It had held true for most of the part since Preston was always being pessimistic and talking about darkness and Sam literally had to punch him everyday because of this behavior and she would tell him that not everything is as dark as it seems. This evening was no different. Preston was talking pessimistic stuffs and Sam was arguing with him. “I’ll never find a ray of hope in my life. I’ll always stay in the shadows.” He said. Sam walked in front of him and spoke “screw everyone! If all fails I’ll be your pinch of hope. When you’ve been in darkness, been in abyss for as long as you have been, you’ll see even a slight pinch of hope. So I’ll be that for you. I promise” he smiled and said “I’ll hold on to that…” It had been almost thre...

He always found silver attractive. It was around grade 10 I guess when he first began to feel that something was inside him. A voice always taunted him. At first he thought that gone insane, not that he was normal for that matter but insane in other way, I mean he was depressed for that matter but insane in much higher way, not that he knew that he was depressed but he’d got a pretty good idea around that time. Anyway he began to hear this voice, taunting him, making him angry, and making him unable to focus in anything. “Shall I cut myself? But then again it’d leave scars on my body that I’d have to hide for eternity. No, I shouldn’t but what shall I do? I’ve tried smoking but it only gives relief temporarily and I can’t smoke every time. Wait a sec… I can be drunk all the time and if I drink in my form of limit, I can do that without anyone finding it!” so he drank and remained a drunk for two years until his parents found that their son’s been depressed and took him to a psyc...

He wakes up in cold sweat. Not that this was an unusual thing for him but it still makes his heart race like a gray hound. Nightmares are a part of his life. Hus whole body’s shaking and with those shaking hands, he pops some pills into his hand and gulps them down with some water. He kneels down and sits taking deep breaths. He’s calm after a few minutes. He calls, even though it’s midnight, he cals, believing that she’ll receive the call. “what happened?”- a reply “it struck again.” “take the pills. Please take care of yourself yaar” “I just did. I will. How are you?” “I’m fine. A bit sleepy though” “then go to sleep. You have college tomorrow.” “I will. But first you go to sleep” “think I’ll go for a ride. good night dear” “good night. make that right short will ya?” “ok” he hangs up and turns on his computer. After sending some songs to his cell phone, he quietly sneaks out of his house with his bicycle. The cold air is refreshing. He then rides along the three hour...

“SURV;VE” That’s the tattoo in his wrist. He then pulls up his hood to go back to his home from the jog he was on. A dark house where no sunlight touches the floor. It’s a messed up home. papers thrown everywhere, dimly lit room, smell of coffee and booze and two pictures hanging on the wall. He looks at each of them and smiles.      It was soon 7 o’clock. He dresses up for work with his suit and ironed pant and just as he was about to put on his shoes, he remembers that he was fired from the job yesterday. “damn I forgot that shit” well it was his fault technically since he punched the teeth off his boss. He has some anger issues and yet none of his colleagues knew about that. He only had a few friends and most of them were far away from him. “guess I led them there” he speaks as he changes to his casual wear and picks up his bag.      “don’t you have a job to go to? What the hell are you doing here?” Sia greets him as soon as he appea...

Now at 20 years of age, he still has that wish that he had some twenty years ago. What was the wish you say? For that we have to go back thirteen years. It was a time when people rarely had mobile phone, any computer or MP3’s. it was a time of tape recorders and earphones.      He was just seven years of age when he first saw a tape recorder. His brother bought some cassette albums to play with it. Even though it was somehow uneasy, they enjoyed. He looked up to this guy; his brother. While he was somewhat of a social outcast, his elder brother was a cool guy. His brother’s name was Roy. Roy had friends; he played, flirted, sang and enjoyed his life. He was somewhat interested in music. the younger brother (Peter) was interested in words. Roy never cared for Peter though. As a matter of fact, Peter was always a pebble in Roy’s feet. Roy always tried to hurt peter, be it emotionally or physically.      Peter never knew his brothers emoti...