slow death (part of a deal)

Well everyone has hard times in life and friends are those creatures that soften those hard times. She had only one of them to speak of and she lost her only when she was at the age of thirteen. The number thirteen is considered to bring rotten luck throughout the world and it turned out to be true for her.

Even after the death of her beloved friend Haiku she pretended that Haiku was alive and talked to that invisible friend. Times change and Prinsa changed too. From being fat, ugly and introvert to more of a slim, pretty and ambivert kinda girl. Well nobody is ugly but Prinsa considered herself ugly one. But no the point here.

So as Prinsa changed she attracted people towards her and a few of them whom she considered as friends. Time moved on and Prinsa moved on too but one thing she couldn’t forget was Haiku. Even admist the normal life that she lived she still talked with her invisible friend.

Prinsa’s nature was like a selfless freak. All she ever wanted was happiness for others eve if she had to suffer. That nature and that little trauma she had led to one night. Oh! Did I forget to mention that because of that little trauma she had become a chain smoker and an alcoholic??? Well she did but by the age of sixteen she became on drinks but no so much on the smokes. Well again back to the point.

One night as she was chatting with Haikuas she usually did she saw a silhouette appear. After about 30  minutes of appearing that silhouette began to talk. “I am the demon sent by Azreal to make a deal with you”. Confused Prinsa asked the silhouette. Yes confused not shocked as she had seen and heard the same silhouette many times. “What rime have I committed? I’m asking you this cause as far as I know the demon king Azreal only makes deals with those who commits crimes or lets say SINS to be justifiable for the sake of this convo”

‘Oh but you have commited a sin my bear. And the biggest one of them. Wanna hear what that is my dear?” the silhouette asked. Prinsa nodded in response “ the sin of self harm” “In what way? “ she retaliated “I have not cut or hurt myself in any physical way” she added to which the silhouette replied with a grin “physically NO! but you have been too kind and too forgiving for your own good”

So here’s a bit of a back story. In  the past three years since that incident Prinsa totally devoted herself to her friends, none of them which lasted long but all she did was try to make them happy. She sacrificed her sleep to do notes for them, her hunger to make their tummy full, her sanity just  to get drunk with them so he friends wouldn’t have to be the only ones drunk and even the guy she truly loved with all of her heart just so that they could have a little fling. As I said none of them truly considered he s a friends. Well none of them besides Sanjeev. He made her happy and made her feel cared for. He brought smile to Prinsa’s otherwise sad face but she sacrificed him too for another one of her friends.

OK so  back to the present. “Isn’t that supposed to be a good deed?” Prinsa asked to  the silhouette. “In a certain quantity yes but in a karge quantity like you have done and it becomes a sin. “ “cut the crap then! “ she said abruptly “what’s the deal?” “we, the demon society will keep on making you do the thing that you; an emotional masochist, love. That is to keep others happy. There will be permanent friends, we will give you that as a gift but they should be happy. Nah! We will do everything to make them happy but…” “BUT???” “you have to do everything to shorten your lifespan in a minute way everyday. You can’t cut yourself do anything that will effect your outer look. That being said internal injury or mental disorder, which you already have are acceptable”

“do you accept the deal?” “I will get permanent friends and they will stay happy in return I get al their pain and die quickly huh??? I din’t have to even think about it. I accept the deal without a doubt. But why choose me?” she asked in the end.

“because needs another one of you.; the silhouette said disappeared.

Ok! So fast forward a few years and Prinsa’s health has deteriorated drastically. She had been half starving herself, has smoked her lungs black, began taking anti-depressants which led to the damage of both the kidney and liver and due to the misuse of anti-depressants, she actually have a few of the mental disorder naming IED(a form of anger disorder), Boderline personality disorder, situational, seasonal and social anxiety disorder, schizophrenia and depression on itself leading to the consumption of more high dose psychotics which are damaging her liver and kidney even more. along with that she has gone partially deaf, her back is a mess and insomnia is on all time high which is aggravated even more by her caffeine and Nicotine addiction.

So far that night remains a mystery and it seems like she still sees that silhouette time and again abd reminds it of the deal which according to her is meeting the requirements with the sacrifise she willingly accepted… a slow death  .

-seul voyager