pinch of hope

It was a starry night and there was a group of four. They were talking some stiffs and were walking in the group of two. He and her were talking some really deep shit. Sam was arguing with Preston that she was the light and he was the darkness incarnate. It had held true for most of the part since Preston was always being pessimistic and talking about darkness and Sam literally had to punch him everyday because of this behavior and she would tell him that not everything is as dark as it seems.
This evening was no different. Preston was talking pessimistic stuffs and Sam was arguing with him. “I’ll never find a ray of hope in my life. I’ll always stay in the shadows.” He said. Sam walked in front of him and spoke “screw everyone! If all fails I’ll be your pinch of hope. When you’ve been in darkness, been in abyss for as long as you have been, you’ll see even a slight pinch of hope. So I’ll be that for you. I promise” he smiled and said “I’ll hold on to that…”
It had been almost three years since Sam said that. She was nowhere near him. She had disappeared from his life around two years ago. Many girls entered in Preston’s life but none had held as special place as Sam had, not even his girlfriend Karen. He smiled to this memory and spoke to himself “I owe you for being that grammatically wrong phrase. I owe you for being that pinch of hope in my life” how could he forget her? He loved her with all his heart and to some extent he still did. He very carefully dusted and guarded the memories of Sam with care foe he had very few of them left.
Ya’ll must be wondering why he only has a few of the memories left. The key word here being “left”. What happened to his other memories with her? And how could he love a girl with whom he has such a few memories? These kinda questions might be rummaging through your mind right about now. Well to answer that here’s a explanation. He was depressed after Sam left Preston without even saying a goodbye, no words, not even a hint. She just disappeared one day. She was present last day and she was just gone the next. He tried her cell; switched off, facebook; deactivated and no one in their group agreed to relay his messages to her. Not Clerance and not Selena. He was pissed but he subsided to somehow. as the months rolled by he grew even more depressed angry much so that it created another side within him; the one that sounded like her, the one that talked like her and that side called herself Cymon (yes I know it sounds like a mans name but it is what it is!) he was yo some amount depressed even while he was in that group of four but Sam’s sudden departure made it worse add the caged rage and there you have a multiple personality.
He went to the psychiatrist and the psych suggested trance therapy. There the psych blocked some memories which triggered him.

So here he is at present writing a note to himself in a café with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of extra dark coffee. Past few days had been hard on him. He realized that Karen didn’t love him at all and he had been preparing to break up with her despite loving her with all his heart. His two besties had confirmed that. Karen was the first relation of his life and they had some good times but it had all ended some four months ago. yet despite having a sour relation he had hung on. So this day he confided in his best friends girlfriend Ashley and see too confided in him that their relation too had begun to go sour. Add the fact that both Preston and Ashley once had a crush on each-other. It somehow soothed him but the pain was still there. The only silver lining here is that while talking to Ashley he remembered a little bit more of Sam, not because he had lied but because the time frame from when he had a crush of Ashley began around moment he say Ashley crying and Sam was there to soothe Ashley. He looks at the dark winter sky of 8 pm and smiles a little to the background song and that sweet memory. The song said “where ever I go, no matter where I’ll go, I’ll have you with me” guess this is true for him cause even after all that memory blockage and distance, he still had Sam in his heart. The first girl who ever had a crush on a guy as damaged as him.
-Seul voyager
 #pinch_of_hope