“People call me crazy, idiot, moron and a freak. No! I’m not a
definition of a normal teenager and yes, what they say is true, I’m a moron, a
freak, an idiot and crazy.
May be it has something to do with my anti-socialism or maybe it’s just the way I love solitude. At 16, most people would be roaming the streets but I am different. Dear Diary, I’m a freak, a loner”
With these words he closes his diary and takes out a cigarette from his hidden stash. It’s almost midnight so everyone in his family is asleep, except him of course. He goes to his balcony from where the street is visible and watches the emptiness as he sits down and smokes his cigarette. Funny, even at this hour there still are walkers, the roamers of the night. It’s his favorite pastime, especially since he has problem sleeping. After smoking 2/3 cigarette he goes back inside and turns his T.V on. It’s more of a computer but it has a T.V card so he can watch it. He puts his headphone on, in an attempt to block the world out and there he dives into the very deep thought of his, actually only one question-What went wrong, that turned me into this?
‘Beep-beep-beep’ his alarm rings. So lost was he that he never realized the time flow. He turns his alarm off and goes to the balcony where the cold air greets him with its warm embrace. The feeling of calmness returns back to him. “Good morning Yuku, Anshu, Jasu, PAD, Mummiji. Hope your days are much better than mine and hope that you remain happy forever” he whispers into the cold air of the dawn, secretly hoping that the wild will carry his voices to their destinations. He goes back and makes himself a dark coffee, sipping a dark coffee in the cold has been his habit for a long time now.
“Just the way I like it.” He returns back to his cozy room, pulls out his hood and calls his mom. She silently gives him his lunch money “Mom, there’s no school!” she walks down, without even replying to his words. Shoving the money in his pocket he walks down his stairs and into the dark ally. He walks quietly and steadily along the shadows. It’s still early winter so the cold air has just arrived and yet it’s already cold enough to make him shiver. He mover with such a grace that it seems likes a shadow, reappearing and disappearing into it. After about half an hour, he reaches his destination, the park. He buys a cigarette from the nearby shop and quietly walks back to the park and he sits there, smoking…thinking about what turned him into this guy. A walk down the memory lane is always painful but he does it anyway
***
Going two years back he opens his eyes. He is in a bus, his school bus sitting behind his two so called best friends. He was an odd one even back then but he was acceptable one. he was a loner but it had never bothered him but this day changed all that, a small word, a small silence changed who he was.
Over the past few months he had gotten incredibly close to this girl named Yukrina a.k.a Yuku, may be because she was the only one who trusted him completely or at least enough to tell him all the family matter. Yuku was a typical girl, a brown girl with a flat face and sharp chin. People used to tease them but they knew what they were, best buddies and nothing more than that. Both of them had shared each other almost all the secrets.
Last night while he was at Ayush’s house, Ayush had been teasing him taking Yuku’s name and he said “yeah maybe we will be a perfect couple. I may actually be in love with her.” He actually didn’t mean this but apparently Ayush took this seriously.
And there he was now, trying hard to listen to what they were talking about. The bus stopped and they got off and he instantly knew that Yuku was trying to avoid him. Hell anyone would know for they used to walk side by side talking, laughing all the way. “hey! What did he tell you?” “Nothing” she replied a little bit choked. He got the sense; he got what Ayush had said to him. “It’s true what he said. I told him that last night but…” she didn’t let him complete his sentence and stared at him with her tearful eyes. That stopped him right in his tracks and made him tearful too. “But what?” “Nothing, he was right, I am in love with you, sorry for this.” Without saying a word she ran all the way towards her home where she cried. He was devastated for he had just lost his best friend.
Ayush was still there but he just didn’t trust him enough after that. That night he cried himself to sleep and the night after that and the night after that. During the day she would be right in front of him and he barely managed to hold his tears.
The class ended and it was time for him to move to another class. She visited his class but by then he had learned to get along with this sadness. She too was sad, maybe even more than him but she was the strong one here.
After a year they met, things were awkward for he knew that if he had just denied what Ayush said that day they would still be best friends.
May be it has something to do with my anti-socialism or maybe it’s just the way I love solitude. At 16, most people would be roaming the streets but I am different. Dear Diary, I’m a freak, a loner”
With these words he closes his diary and takes out a cigarette from his hidden stash. It’s almost midnight so everyone in his family is asleep, except him of course. He goes to his balcony from where the street is visible and watches the emptiness as he sits down and smokes his cigarette. Funny, even at this hour there still are walkers, the roamers of the night. It’s his favorite pastime, especially since he has problem sleeping. After smoking 2/3 cigarette he goes back inside and turns his T.V on. It’s more of a computer but it has a T.V card so he can watch it. He puts his headphone on, in an attempt to block the world out and there he dives into the very deep thought of his, actually only one question-What went wrong, that turned me into this?
‘Beep-beep-beep’ his alarm rings. So lost was he that he never realized the time flow. He turns his alarm off and goes to the balcony where the cold air greets him with its warm embrace. The feeling of calmness returns back to him. “Good morning Yuku, Anshu, Jasu, PAD, Mummiji. Hope your days are much better than mine and hope that you remain happy forever” he whispers into the cold air of the dawn, secretly hoping that the wild will carry his voices to their destinations. He goes back and makes himself a dark coffee, sipping a dark coffee in the cold has been his habit for a long time now.
“Just the way I like it.” He returns back to his cozy room, pulls out his hood and calls his mom. She silently gives him his lunch money “Mom, there’s no school!” she walks down, without even replying to his words. Shoving the money in his pocket he walks down his stairs and into the dark ally. He walks quietly and steadily along the shadows. It’s still early winter so the cold air has just arrived and yet it’s already cold enough to make him shiver. He mover with such a grace that it seems likes a shadow, reappearing and disappearing into it. After about half an hour, he reaches his destination, the park. He buys a cigarette from the nearby shop and quietly walks back to the park and he sits there, smoking…thinking about what turned him into this guy. A walk down the memory lane is always painful but he does it anyway
***
Going two years back he opens his eyes. He is in a bus, his school bus sitting behind his two so called best friends. He was an odd one even back then but he was acceptable one. he was a loner but it had never bothered him but this day changed all that, a small word, a small silence changed who he was.
Over the past few months he had gotten incredibly close to this girl named Yukrina a.k.a Yuku, may be because she was the only one who trusted him completely or at least enough to tell him all the family matter. Yuku was a typical girl, a brown girl with a flat face and sharp chin. People used to tease them but they knew what they were, best buddies and nothing more than that. Both of them had shared each other almost all the secrets.
Last night while he was at Ayush’s house, Ayush had been teasing him taking Yuku’s name and he said “yeah maybe we will be a perfect couple. I may actually be in love with her.” He actually didn’t mean this but apparently Ayush took this seriously.
And there he was now, trying hard to listen to what they were talking about. The bus stopped and they got off and he instantly knew that Yuku was trying to avoid him. Hell anyone would know for they used to walk side by side talking, laughing all the way. “hey! What did he tell you?” “Nothing” she replied a little bit choked. He got the sense; he got what Ayush had said to him. “It’s true what he said. I told him that last night but…” she didn’t let him complete his sentence and stared at him with her tearful eyes. That stopped him right in his tracks and made him tearful too. “But what?” “Nothing, he was right, I am in love with you, sorry for this.” Without saying a word she ran all the way towards her home where she cried. He was devastated for he had just lost his best friend.
Ayush was still there but he just didn’t trust him enough after that. That night he cried himself to sleep and the night after that and the night after that. During the day she would be right in front of him and he barely managed to hold his tears.
The class ended and it was time for him to move to another class. She visited his class but by then he had learned to get along with this sadness. She too was sad, maybe even more than him but she was the strong one here.
After a year they met, things were awkward for he knew that if he had just denied what Ayush said that day they would still be best friends.
****
He comes back to his reality and on his cheeks he felt tear strands. That moment had defined him, made him unable to trust anyone again for he was scared that the same thing would happen again. And since then he has been living his life as this. Now he trusts only person but that’s just because she is as damaged as him if not more RUSA.
He comes back to his reality and on his cheeks he felt tear strands. That moment had defined him, made him unable to trust anyone again for he was scared that the same thing would happen again. And since then he has been living his life as this. Now he trusts only person but that’s just because she is as damaged as him if not more RUSA.
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